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One-Line Bio

Trials of an infertile lawyer who squandered her youth on education.

Biography

I started this journey in June of 2001. And how i find myself at this point, I am truly shocked. Another deluded professional woman who thought she could have children whenever she wanted. So, we (my husband and I) decided we'd start our family in January of 2001, after we got married in Oct. 2000 (that's us in at our wedding...we've only just begun....). By then, i'd have been on my new job for 2 years and firmly established. I would have liked to have waited longer but i was 37 at the time so time was running out. Well, low and behold, the firm I worked at was going down the tubes and I got downsized Memorial day weekend 2000. No problem, i got employed within 6 weeks with a new firm making about 30% more money, and ironically enough, replaced the same individual at my new firm that i replaced at the old firm when i got that job. Wasn't life grand? G-d was looking out for me then.

So, the baby thing was off till i could establish myself at the new firm for a couple of years (and get maternity leave). But, since time was running out, we decided to move forward June 2001. Surprise...at my pre-conception checkup, the doctor determined that my uterus was enlarged. Almost 12 week pregnancy size. Could I possible be pregnant he asked. NOT. After a few indeterminant test, he informed me that i had a 6.5 mm uterine fibroid that would have to come out if i wanted to get pregnant and to call him 30 days b/4 i wanted to schedule my MAJOR surgery.

Second opinion time. But you can't just walk into the good RE's office and schedule surgery 30 days in advance...long story short, second opinion consult in Oct. 2001, surgery 4/15/2002 (and by then 10 cm tumor). Surgery was a nightmare b/c this idiot (me) wanted an epidural (thought i wouldn't die from antesthesia this way - almost died from the pain!).

but then 6 weeks later, got the go ahead to try and conceive. My husband was somewhat reticent (for reasons i may discuss later), but we did anyway and BINGO! pregnant on the first try! I thought I'd for once beat the odds. NOT. 2 weeks later, miscarriage, ironically, on Independance day, July 4, 2002.

So we regroup and start again. Man, it took 3 tries this time. Very very stressful i thought (i laugh at that now) and pregnant again, Nov. 3, 2002. Blighted ovum Dec. 3, 2002.

Change doctors. surely something can be done. Clomid i'm told will make me a better egg. No, clomid was the anti-pregnancy anti-cervical fluid drug. After adding estrogen to the mix (my idea), I get pregnant again in my 5th cycle. And here is the way too ironic sad part. the pregnancy test was very light and not darkening up quickly so i knew something was wrong. I go to the doctor for blood work and the hcg numbers aren't rising appropriately. I'm thinking tubal pregnancy. I actually prayed for a tubal pregnancy instead of an old fashioned miscarriage b/c i thought it wouldn't count. Well, it counted alright. Caused me to lose my left fallopian tube and cost me 6 months (methotrexate and laparoscopy) of time and aggrevation.

So here we are, age 40 (Dec. 30, 2003) with one fallopian tube trying to get pregnant. frazzled nerves, bitter disappointment, etc...

Oh, and did i mention? My husband lost his job memorial day 2003 and hasn't worked for 9 months now. Isn't that special? Some people say that G-d doesn't give you more than you can handle and to that I say: ENOUGH ALREADY!!!

Interests

fertility research and getting pregnant; also love animals.