Bud Schermer. When I started my law career, the first firm I worked for was Susman Schermer. After 50 years in business, the business collapsed 5 years after one of its main rainmakers suddenly died. But I never will forget Bud Schermer. Infamous for his screaming. He had a saying "I scream because I care"
My mother was a screamer. And I hated it. She would come home from work and just let loose. I remember her screaming at me to quit following her. I thought that was awfully mean at the time, but now I understand. Having your every step dogged by one or two toddlers as the case may be can be quite irritating.
And that brings me to the g-d damn near constant screaming that my children do. It is driving me insane. Raquel is trying to put on her shoe today, and then starts screaming to holy hell b/c its not going right. Ariella is screaming in my other ear about her car seat at the same time. On the way home, Ariella is screaming at me b/c I put ranch dressing in her lunch, even though she specifically told me not to. Like she never changes her mind. Like she was forced to eat it.
And now as I write this, I am overhearing them in the bathroom screaming about whatever. Its like they have no normal tone of voice. Its always a whine, a wail, or a scream.
And then to add to the din of screaming is me screaming at them to stop the screaming. And sometimes its not so nice. Sometimes, its "Stop! that G-d damn screaming!!!"
These children are 4; not 14.
Now Ariella is screaming about she can't get into the bathtub b/c her bandaid will come off. I mean it is every little thing. And now the bath is "too hot" whine whine whine. Now Ariella is crying b/c she slipped. She didn't fall, she just slipped. My husband didn't even notice b/c not much really happened.
I don't know how my husband does it. He seems to be able to weather this barage of screaming much better than I without getting angry. But then he always does in everything. I'm the one always losing my shit when I get aggrevated. If my husband ends up killing me, you'll know it was because I deserved it. You really have to push him to make him lose his temper.
I am sitting in the bedroom, blogging b/c I've had it with the screaming for one day. I could not be a stay at home mom. I used to think that people who charecterized working women as having so much "me" time were fools.
But lets face it, at least at work, there is some peace and quiet, and you get to go home at the end of the day. If you are a stay at home mom, there is no break.
When they were infants, I was amazed at the amount of crying that the girls did. And one of my colleagues had the nerve to say that he had never heard of a baby crying when it was being held - like i didn't hold my children enough. And I beg to differ. His children obviously did not have colic like Raquel did. He obviously did not have the experience of having his baby scream in his ear while he was holding him, and nothing would work.
Rob used to call from work and Raquel would be screaming. He'd say "who is that? Godzilla?" That was her baby name - Godzilla.
I found like most people, colic goes away with time. Nothing else. I used to think that would be her personality. Far from it. When she is not wailing over whatever small thing is bothering her, she is a ray of sunshine. I guess you have to take the bitter with the sweet.
Finally, things are calming down. But I really hate the screaming. Theirs and mine.
Enough already with the fucking screaming.
And now Ariella just came and asked so sweetly if she could sleep in my bed.
And now I feel bad.
Wine. And earplugs.
Posted by: midlife mommy | January 27, 2010 at 08:24 PM